(Note: This first appeared in the Life, Under Construction newsletter from April 1, 2024. The newsletter is published every Monday and Thursday. To become a subscriber, click the button below.)


Baldwin to Support Ban of Piña Coladas
(from the 4/1 News Service)

In a move to support Wisconsin’s dairy farmers, Senator Tammy Baldwin (D-WI) will introduce a ban of Piña Coladas, citing the importation of a fake milk product as an ingredient.

“As part of my efforts to protect American farmers, especially Wisconsin dairy farmers, we need to end the false labeling of various vegetable products as ‘milk,’” Baldwin said in a statement on April 1, 2024. “That includes coconut water, mislabeled as milk, which is imported as the main non-alcohol ingredient in Piña Coladas.”

Baldwin said she became especially concerned when she saw a “kiddie cocktail” non-alcoholic Piña Colada served to a minor at a Wisconsin wedding, saying Wisconsin’s youth are being abused by the coconut importation lobby.

“Our Wisconsin youth should learn the healthy effects of good dairy products from their home state,” Baldwin said. “That education for our young people is undermined by bartenders serving non-alcoholic Piña Coladas as a ‘gateway drug’ to the coconut liquid product.”

Baldwin suggested that parents and bartenders should consider serving a modified White Russian instead.

Until Congress can agree upon a ban of Piña Coladas, Baldwin said she was personally encouraging a boycott of The Piña Colada Song by Wisconsin radio stations. “The song is just propaganda for the coconut lobby,” Baldwin said. “I would much rather hear The Beer Barrel Polka.”

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