In a statement on Friday, just prior to the Republican Party of Wisconsin state convention in the Wisconsin Dells, former President Donald Trump issued a statement accusing Assembly Speaker Robin Vos (R-Rochester), state Senate Majority Leader Devin LeMahieu (R-Oostburg) and state Senate President Chris Kapenga (R-Delafield) of not being sufficiently supportive of the former president’s desire for an Arizona-style audit of Wisconsin’s 2020 presidential election ballots.
It was not exactly, “Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest?” or even what Henry II actually said, “What miserable drones and traitors have I nourished and brought up in my household, who let their lord be treated with such shameful contempt by a low-born cleric?”
But it had the desired effect. Below is a letter from Kapenga to Trump swearing that he remains loyal to the former president and the former president’s effort (still) to overturn the 2020 presidential election results in Wisconsin.
The letter below is not satire.
Some excerpts:
Kapenga suffers from inadequacy: “…the power of your pen to mine is like Thor’s hammer to a Bobby pin.”
Shhh. It’s a secret, until we send an open records request: “I made specific requests on procedures and locations, both of which I have not, nor will not, disclose.”
May I be in your holy presence to touch the hem of your golf bag? “…you owe me a round of golf at the club of your choice.”
Can I get Trump jammies? “In addition to my Trump socks, I will pull up my Trump/Pence mask…”
January 6 was really cool: “Thank you for doing great things as our President.”
The full letter from Kapenga to the former president is below:
“Mr. President,
“One of the most frustrating things to watch during your Presidency was the continued attacks on you from fake news outlets with no accountability to truth. I can’t imagine the frustration you and your family felt. Unfortunately, in our positions of public service, we have to accept the reality that often “truth” in the media is no longer based on facts but simply what one feels like saying.
“This leads me to your recent press release stating that I am responsible for holding up a forensic audit of the Wisconsin elections. This could not be further from the truth.
“Let me first say that very few people have the honor of being named publicly by a United States President. I never imagined mine would be mentioned, much less in this light, from a President that I have publicly supported, and still support. I feel I need to respond even though you will likely never hear of it, as the power of your pen to mine is like Thor’s hammer to a Bobby pin.
“Nevertheless, I need to correct your false claim against me. I never received a call from you or
any of your sources asking about the election audit. If you had, I would have told you that long
before your press release I called the auditor in charge of the election audit that is taking place
in Wisconsin and requested a forensic component to the audit.
“Prior to owning several businesses, I was an auditor, so I understand the importance of this being done to determine what took place in the last election. This will help guide us as legislators to put fixes in place for any issues found, and more importantly, to ensure the integrity of elections moving forward. I made specific requests on procedures and locations, both of which I have not, nor will not, disclose. If I am not satisfied with the procedures performed, I will request additional work be done. If anyone illegally attempts to hinder information from being obtained, I will use my subpoena powers to get it.
“This leads me back to your press release. It is false, and I don’t appreciate it being done before calling me and finding out the truth. This is what both of us have fought against. Being cut from similar cloth in our backgrounds, and knowing that reparation must always be of more value than the wrong done, I have two requests.
“First, I ask that you issue a press release in similar fashion that corrects the information and also encourages people to support what I have requested in the audit. Second, you owe me a round of golf at the club of your choice.
“I write this as I am about to board a plane due to a family medical emergency. In addition to my Trump socks, I will pull up my Trump/Pence mask when I board the plane, as required by federal law. I figure, if the liberals are going to force me to wear a mask, I am going to make it as painful for them as possible. I will continue to do this regardless of whether or not I ever hear from you.
“Thank you for doing great things as our President.”
Respectfully,
Chris Kapenga
Wisconsin Senate President
