Wisconsin’s Lt. Gov. Mandela Barnes is in trouble. The Wisconsin taxpayers are tired of picking up the bill for his security detail to drive him everywhere, but he’s too irresponsible to have a car.
If the lieutenant governor isn’t able to get to work, he might have to lose his job. And now we’ve learned the lieutenant governor is behind on his property taxes. With no visible means of support and, from what we can tell, no discernible workplace skills, he is on the path to becoming a homeless person sleeping on a grate at the Capitol.
For the public good, something needs to be done for our lieutenant governor. Does anyone really want Gov. Tony Evers to appoint Barnes’ replacement?
Fortunately, state government has a solution. A quick perusal of the Wisconsin Department of Transportation website shows two programs that could get Barnes back-and-forth to work allowing him to keep his job.
Vanpool has five different ride options for Barnes to get to Madison from Milwaukee daily. Instead of being chauffeured by a costly state patrol officer, Barnes could ride with the common people (well, state employees). Just think how interesting his ride could be in the morning as he shares his commute.
“How was your Father’s Day?” Barnes might ask his fellow commuters. “Did anyone share a bong?“
If the vanpool option doesn’t work, how about an old-fashioned carpool, the Rideshare program? “Like online dating for your car!” the brochure explains. Or, in Barnes’ case, a lack of car.
We found six possible matches for Barnes using the Rideshare website. We’re sure any one of them would be thrilled to have the lieutenant governor join them for a daily ride to Madison.
They just can’t expect him to contribute any gas money since he’s a little short on cash lately. Which is pretty funny given how much Evers and Barnes want to raise the gas tax.
