Now we know why the Milwaukee Brewers’ pitching staff is having so many problems. The team is too busy virtue signaling instead of sending real signs.
To celebrate “Earth Day,” the Brewers announced Monday they are getting rid of that great scourge to humanity, the plastic straw.
Plastic straws are one of many items that contribute to the 8 million metric tons of plastic waste impacting our oceans each year. We are partnering w/ @delawarenorth to reduce plastic waste & will no longer offer them at Miller Park. Paper straws will be available upon request. pic.twitter.com/BXjbiTB8cY
— Milwaukee Brewers (@Brewers) April 22, 2019
Many fans were less than amused by the announcement. While some observed that you don’t need to drink beer with a straw, others responded on Twitter with sarcasm.
Can I bring my own plastic straw? Or will there be plastic detectors at each entrance?
— Paul Braam (@PaulBraamMKE) April 22, 2019
Trying to act like they care about the environment when it saves them money….Will the drink prices be lowered to reflect this change?
— Felix and Oscar (@UngerMadison) April 22, 2019
Brewers also eliminate waste by reusing unsuccessful relievers Taylor Williams and Matt Albers from their previous season.
— Jer Bancroft (@JerBanc) April 23, 2019
Of course, the plastic helmets for nachos or ice cream aren’t going away, nor are the plastic bottles of water at the concession stands. You can still buy plastic souvenir cups of beer or soda, and the plastic forks and knives will still be right next to the plastic ketchup packets. Just be careful so you don’t get special stadium sauce on your new souvenir plastic bobble-head or other souvenirs that you picked up in the gift shop that you’re carrying in that plastic bag.
You can see all of that plastic thanks to the lovely lights that are fueled by electricity from power plants that are contributing to the greenhouse effect. And we’re sure all of those cars in the parking lot filled with patrons coming to see the new environmentally friendly Milwaukee Brewers won’t mind not having a straw.
By the way, just how many bats and balls are used during a game? How do those uniforms look so clean every game? And with all of those fans standing in line at the rest room after drinking sodas and beers without straws, how much water are they using when they flush and (hopefully) wash their hands?
But if you’re a Milwaukee Brewers fan and you still want a plastic straw, the team has you covered: Milwaukee Brewers logo souvenir plastic straws.
